Di Tran recently had a conversation with someone who made a statement that resonated strongly with him: “You don’t live for your children, you live for you.” This statement is in alignment with another statement that we often hear in media or motivational speaking: “Your children did not choose to come to life, you made that choice to bring them to life.” Another statement in a similar context is “Your children exist to fulfill your life, so don’t act like it’s the other way around.”
Di Tran often has conversations with his wife about what their life would be like without children. They wonder if it would just be two souls simply hanging out but with a very different kind of happiness than what they have now. However, Di Tran realizes that everything costs something, and nothing is free, and that includes children. Having children is an investment, and just like any investment, there are no guarantees. You invest a lot and you hope to harvest good results, but there’s no such investment that guarantees a result, and the same goes for children.
But Di Tran believes that there’s always a proven technique, which is often boring, not flashy, and not glamorous. For example, Warren Buffet always makes his bets on value-based companies, not trends. Similarly, with children, a value-based approach is crucial. There’s a lot of doing toward value-based investment in children, such as teaching by being an example, teaching human kindness as a focus regardless of how the world changes, and teaching that failing is good, a step to learn and enjoy it. Di Tran teaches his kids to give 100% effort at all times in all things they do, not to worry about the result, and to enjoy the ride. He always applies a technique he learned in IT, “fail fast so you can fix fast.”
Di Tran is the author of “Drop the ME and Focus on the OTHERs” book and soon to be released “Drop the FEAR and Focus on the FAITH.” He believes that by dropping the focus on oneself and instead focusing on others, you can achieve greater happiness and fulfillment. Similarly, by dropping the fear and focusing on faith, you can achieve greater success and overcome any obstacles that come your way.
While it may be easy to get caught up in the idea that children are the center of our lives, it’s important to remember that we are also living for ourselves. However, investing in our children with a value-based approach can lead to fulfilling and successful lives for both ourselves and our children.
